How to Marry a Chinese Woman
Marrying a Chinese woman can be an exciting and rewarding experience. However, it is important to approach the relationship with sensitivity and open-mindedness. Cultural differences can pose challenges in any relationship, but they can be especially challenging for intercultural marriages.
Many Western men have misconceptions about Chinese women based on stereotypes and media portrayals. In reality, modern Chinese women are not all submissive or docile.
1. Know her background
While the Chinese culture is changing a bit, it still has some traditions that are hard for Westerners to embrace. For example, her family might expect a dowry or might be very critical of your lifestyle. Therefore, it is important to communicate effectively with your Chinese girl so that you are on the same page about long-term goals and expectations.
You should also be aware that most Chinese women live close to their parents or grandparents and are very family-oriented. They value chivalry and often spend hours shopping on Taobao. In addition, most Chinese women are accustomed to a high-income lifestyle and are used to dating wealthy men. So, it is important to make sure that you are on the same page about your financial situation. This will avoid any misunderstandings in the future. This way, both of you can feel comfortable and happy in your marriage.
2. Know your limitations
Chinese women place a lot of importance on their family. They also believe in the concept of monogamy. If you are not committed to this, then your relationship with a Chinese woman may not last long.
Moreover, they expect their husbands to take care of them when they get old. This is an unspoken expectation and can be hard for foreign men to understand.
Consequently, many Chinese women seek partners abroad to marry. The Chinese woman who does not marry is known as shengnu, or ‘leftover.’ Shengnu often have high educational levels and income, yet still remain single. According to anthropologist Roberta Zavoretti, shengnu are tangled up in patriarchal forces that prevent them from finding Mr. Right (Zavoretti 2017). Moreover, they are not interested in being co-habitators. These factors make it important to know your limitations before you meet a Chinese woman.
3. Be honest
Chinese women place a lot of importance on their families and, as such, they’re usually very close to them. In fact, it’s not uncommon for unmarried Chinese women to live with their parents, so it’s important that you make them like you.
Moreover, they often save money in order to be able to give their loved ones gifts on special occasions. For example, they would be thrilled to receive a nice handbag or a pair of shoes that they had been eyeing for some time.
Many of them feel that domestic men may not offer them true love and fidelity and, as such, turn to foreign men for this purpose. As such, they become what Farrer and Dale call “consumers of potential happiness” – an outcome that could end in disaster. This is a major problem in China as it has led to high divorce rates among Chinese women.
4. Know her values
Chinese women are a mesmerizing combination of grace, elegance, and intelligence. They have strong values rooted in their rich cultural background that make them unique and irresistible to many men.
To successfully date and marry a Chinese woman, it is important to understand her cultural expectations. For example, she may expect her husband to be financially stable and respectful of her family members. She also appreciates a man who treats her with kindness, respect, and loyalty.
Furthermore, Chinese women love surprises and are often pleased by gifts that go above and beyond the ordinary such as expensive jewelry or clothes. They also enjoy receiving gifts on special occasions like birthdays or holidays. However, you must be able to afford such extravagant gifts without breaking the bank. Therefore, it is crucial to know her financial situation before you propose.
5. Be open-minded
Chinese women have a lot of expectations from their husbands. They expect them to pay their expenses and even take care of the kids. Some even rely on their children as a form of social security.
Some men may find it difficult to meet and marry a Chinese woman because of their differences in culture. However, with patience and open communication, they can overcome these challenges.
When it comes to finding Chinese women for marriage, there are many options available, including online dating websites, matchmaking agencies, and social events in local communities. Having an open mind and being willing to learn about their traditions can go a long way in establishing a strong and harmonious relationship. In addition, it’s important to understand that a Chinese woman may have different expectations from her Western counterparts. This is often due to cultural differences and differing priorities.
6. Be respectful
Chinese culture places great importance on family, so it’s important to treat her parents with respect. If your wife’s family doesn’t like you, it can significantly impact her willingness to marry you.
Building trust and respect in a cross-cultural marriage requires patience, understanding, and open communication. Becoming familiar with her cultural values and expectations can help you navigate these differences. This can also help you understand how to build a healthy and lasting relationship with her.
7. Be humble
Chinese culture places a lot of value on humility and filial piety. This often translates into how they treat their parents and how they expect their partners to behave. Understanding these traditions can go a long way in helping you build a strong foundation for your relationship.
While it’s true that Chinese women are less likely to show public displays of affection, they still appreciate gestures of kindness, respect, and emotional support. Showing your commitment to her and her family by maintaining consistency and reliability can help you establish a sense of trust that will endure for the rest of your life together.
Moreover, many traditional Chinese families still expect a husband to pay a fee upon marrying their daughter, known as the “bride price.” Although this is not true in all cultures, it’s important to be aware of this expectation and be prepared for it.
8. Be patient
Although marriage is not as important for Chinese women as it is in the West, a woman may still be inclined to marry her boyfriend for the sake of social status, family connections and economic security. For instance, many Chinese women save money to ensure that they will have enough for their retirement.
If you are considering dating a Chinese woman, it is best to take things slowly and not rush into marriage. This will help you avoid misunderstandings and build a strong bond with her. It is also important to communicate openly with her and learn as much as you can about her culture. This will make her feel appreciated and valued, which will strengthen your relationship. You should also try to learn some basic Chinese to ingratiate yourself with her family.
9. Be kind
Developing trust and respect in your relationship with a Chinese woman can help you create a strong foundation for a long-term marriage. This can be achieved through consistent actions, honoring commitments, and clear communication.
Chinese women are typically family-oriented, which can mean that her parents and extended family will be quite involved in your life. They may also expect you to show respect and consideration for them.
If you’re dating a Chinese woman, don’t be surprised to find that she likes surprises. For example, she might ask you to pay for her meal on a date. Alternatively, she might give you a huge birthday gift or lavish holiday gift. It’s a sign of appreciation that she will cherish forever. These acts can also demonstrate chivalry and respect for her. She will likely return the favor in return.
10. Be humble
While modern Chinese society may be progressive in some ways, the culture still places value on humility and filial piety. Understanding these values and respecting them can help you navigate the challenges of intercultural marriages successfully.
Oftentimes, Westerners have preconceived notions of Chinese women that don’t always reflect reality. However, these misconceptions can sometimes become barriers to a loving relationship with Chinese women.
For instance, some men may assume that they’re expected to buy their Chinese girlfriends flowers and chocolate on a regular basis. While these gifts are nice, they aren’t enough to show a girl how much you care about her. For that, you must do something more significant. This could be as simple as a lavish birthday gift. The point is to make her feel special. If you do, she will reciprocate your love and appreciation.
